


Attraction and Angst

by toothfaerie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homestuck - Freeform, Humanstuck, M/M, Prom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 07:42:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19942618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toothfaerie/pseuds/toothfaerie
Summary: Humanstuck AU where the beta kids and some trolls are high schoolers trying to deal with their each other and their everyday lives.





	1. Genesis

**Author's Note:**

> grammar and spelling should be decent — i’ve checked more than a few times. capitalisation is inconsistent, but whatever. story wise, i had a couple different ideas when i started, but it all kind of came together near the end.

Dave could count on one hand how many times he’d heard Karkat speak at a volume below a shout, and they’d been in school together for the better part of six years. Ever since the chubby Indian kid with a sweater that hung to his knees and wiry h air that seemed like it had never seen a brush moved to their town, Dave’s life had gone downhill.   
He liked to believe it was entirely Karkat’s fault, but that would be a gross generalisation. Their quasi-friendship over the past few months had provided them both with insights both about themselves and others that likely wouldn’t have occurred on their own, but Karkat’s demeanour meant that Dave spent a lot of time more irritable than he probably should have.   
John was the first to comment on his shift in behaviour, much to Dave’s surprise. Rose nearly always was the first one to cut in on whatever psychological issue she deemed him to have, using the words Freud and Nietzsche interchangeably.   
It had been a while since Rose’s last impromptu therapy session. However, when John mentioned offhand how Dave had really grown since he’d befriended Karkat.   
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Dave said, not unkindly.   
“Well, it means that you’ve changed. you seem more…” Despite his thick-headedness, even John could tell he was pushing Dave a little too far with his insight. “Well, Dave, if I’m being perfectly honest, it’s unlike you to make new friends. we’ve known each other since preschool and not once have you ever said to me: hey man, that kid seems cool, let’s befriend him.”   
John paused again, clearly trying to think through his words. “It’s weird that you’re all of a sudden interested in this kid who has gone to school with us for years and now you actually talk to him. like, regularly. Outside of class.”   
“I don’t think it’s weird that I’m in my junior year and I want to make some new friends. I mean between you and your stupid movies and Rose and Kanaya’s inseparability, I thought I might have to start talking to Terezi again.”   
“Don’t say that like it’s the worst thing that could ever happen to you.” John frowned. “She’s sweet.”   
“Sweet is not the word I would use to describe her,” Dave said, standing up from his perch leaning against the solid oak of John’s writing desk. “Malicious. Or manipulative. Or maybe even fucking—“   
“I have something to tell you, Dave. I wasn’t sure how you were gonna react, but now I think I know, and I, no, we owe it to you.” John sucked in a deep breath and stood, his pale face reflected in the lenses of Dave’s sunglasses.   
“You’re gay.” Dave laughed suddenly, short and almost barklike. He bent over at the waist as if all of the air inside of him had been sucked out, and he pressed his forearms against the desk.   
“Dave you know full well I’m straight. And I know you’re fucking with me because I can’t believe that you’d be even a little bit surprised that I’m dating Terezi. I’m sure you’ve known the entire time.”  
Dave couldn’t meet his eyes. Obviously, he’d known about John and Terezi, as their inevitability was palpable. Even if Rose hadn’t caught them making out in the girls bathroom the Tuesday before (how delighted she’d been when she skunk into his bedroom and reported her findings, a little smirk at his expense) he would have known because John suddenly had plans for the evenings, and there really wasn’t anyone else at school that he might have developed a relationship with.   
Except for Vriska, of course, but it was a miracle in itself that they hadn’t had any classes with her since the year prior and their messy fallout.   
Still, for John to admit to his face that he was dating his ex, that was a bold move. Dave had to respect the forward nature of his admission.   
His own outburst was just as predictable as John’s own divulgence, a poorly kept secret Dave felt everyone knew except for himself.   
“Dave? Are you going to say anything or am I going to keep standing here like an idiot?”   
“I’m happy for you, John,” Dave said, and he found that he really meant it. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss the way Terezi’s sharp elbows bit into his skin as they kissed, the tap of her cane as she ran down the hall to meet him. He even missed her teeth, her perfect, weird, sharp little teeth. His lips would always bleed afterwards, and rose would taunt him playfully.   
Still, he knew that Terezi and John would likely fair better than he and she ever had. there was no mistaking that despite the physical chemistry between them, they didn’t function well as a unit.   
“You really mean it?” John asked, eyes still averted. Dave knew full well the backlash he anticipated. How many times had he fallen for Dirk’s bullshit?   
“I really do mean it, John.” He hugged John tightly, hands thrown around his shoulders, his nose buried in John’s tousled black hair. “Also take a shower dude you stink.”   
John laughed. “You’re really the best bro a guy could have. I’m happy were so honest with each other.”   
John's words rung in his ears the entire ride home.


	2. Jest and Jealousy

II.  
Kanaya found it incredibly unfair that her mother didn’t allow Rose to come over after school anymore. It had been one occult spell they’d tried to cast in the basement before the door became barred for all Strider-Lalondes. She couldn’t even invite Dave over and squint at him while they worked on their project together, pretending his features were softened into hers, his hair choppier and his hands more delicate.   
It was just her luck that the only study room left in the library was the one conjoined with the cubicle that Karkat Vantas currently occupied. He had what looked like a mound of loose papers piled on the desk, with eraser bits and bits of broken mechanical pencil led scattered around him, and his glare was drowning out any drive she might have had to work on the project.   
“Dave, can we call it quits? I’ve found that I’ve grown sick of this, and I’d rather go home.”   
“Whatever dude.” Dave barely looked up from his seat next to hers, shitty rap music playing tinnily through his headphones.   
“Even if I leave you all alone?” She pressed, manners inhibiting her desire to get the fuck out of there.   
“I’ve got Karkat, man, I’ll be fine.”   
“What?” Karkat said, louder than necessary, causing a few dirty looks pointed in his direction.   
“Nothing.” Dave’s foot tapped beneath the table. “Kanaya, I got this, okay? Seriously chill. Why don’t you go and hang out with Rose? She doesn't have violin until six tonight.”   
“I continue to find it weird how comfortable you are with my romancing of your sister,” Kanaya said, not for the first time.   
“We’re twins, dude. If she’s getting laid. Then by the laws of some dead gods, I too, by proxy, am getting laid.” From the angle at which she was seated, Kanaya could see behind Dave’s sunglasses, and the prolonged stare in Karkat’s direction did not escape her.   
“I still find it repellant and gross.” She said, gathering her things. “But to each their own, I guess.”  
As she walked to her car, she thought about Rose. She’d recently sewn a new dress for her, purple velvet with a long skirt and a high neck. She liked to imagine Rose wearing it to prom, Kanaya in a jade green number, each wearing a black sash across the waist.   
Kanaya often imagined the two of them in such scenarios but had never brought up so much. Likely, the velvet dress would end up in a bag in the back of her closely, never to see the light of day or touch Rose’s flesh. There were already more than a few gowns Kanaya had spent hours on that lie dormant in the back of her closet. Rose, with all her cold beauty and sharp wit couldn’t always be trusted to be kind, even when it mattered. What she felt about the quality of Kanaya’s craftsmanship she would vocalise, and Kanaya as sensitive enough in her work that she knew she would react poorly if criticised.   
It wasn’t as if she couldn’t take criticism, she mused as she unloved her car. It was more of how personal those dresses were, unlike the blouses and scarves and coats and cardigans she had made and given to rose before. These were an extension of herself, a window into her soul.   
She wondered if this was his Dave felt when pressured to take off his glasses, something that had only happened once or twice in her entire memory of their friendship.   
When she turned the key, her stereo blasted to life, with Purity Ring’s Obedear blasting through the speakers. Kanaya has picked up Rose on the way to school, and they’d held hands as they listened to weird alternative music together. Kanaya liked taking Rose to school, her presence calming, and their shared silence a sort of meditation before the long day of school.   
They shared that silence as just the two of them. As young women notorious for never shutting the fuck up (as Dave often reminded them in the middle of one of his own self-indulgent monologues that quickly turned into soliloquies as they stopped listening) a comfortable silence was foreign, and for the two of them to coexist comfortably without words was a miracle in itself.   
With the rev of her old Prius with the shiny new paint job, Kanaya frowned into the mirror and drove towards the place she reluctantly called home


	3. Mommy Issues Just Isn’t Very Catchy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote most of this in a costco parking lot

III.  
Mommy issues didn’t quite have the same ring to it, Dirk thought. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that he’d grown used to the term daddy issues, or if his own frustration at himself was to blame.   
He knew that if he asked Rose, she’d give him the answer he’d been looking for, swathed in layers of needless jargon and smug patronisation.   
He really did consider the idea, glancing at his sister as she neatly ate her dinner, fork to mouth in a controlled manner. Despite being in the middle of a meal, Dirk knew that this wasn’t an inopportune time. Dave had taken his dinner (bagel bites thawed in the microwave) and was currently keeping himself occupied by blasting shitty music and drawing his stupid cartoons.   
His mother was out, and he and Rose had the entire downstairs to themselves. If he really wanted. He could indulge her fantasies and lie down on the sofa like it was a chaise lounge, and let her expand until her tongue grew heavy, and they both passed out, only to be awoken by Dave revving his engine obnoxiously loudly. From there, Rose would either beg Kanaya to drive across town to pick them up, or they would walk the three miles, calling Dave repeatedly and yelling obscenities into his voicemail.   
While the option intrigued him, he knew better than to get in over his head with his sister. They got along well enough, but if there was anyone who knew how to pick apart every splinter of himself, and needle them under his fingernails, it was Rose.   
He excused himself from the table, and dumped his dumped his dishes in the sink before retreating to his basement room.   
He rather liked his room; he surrounded himself in things that he enjoyed, posters from films and TV shows, puppets he had made (the newer ones with a little guidance from Kanaya) and bits and pieces of computers and machines. He’d nearly given up on His latest project, trying to restore a shitty laptop re-gifted to him by Sollux Captor, both his greatest competitor and greatest ally when it came to resale of restored electronics, and he was struggling to find the pieces he needed online. It seemed that they’d stopped manufacturing the piece of shit more than six years prior, and the stupid thing could only function with parts he’d have to ship out from some developing country where everything was made by child slaves.   
More than anything else, he was upset with how much the shipping would cost him, nearly twice as much as the pieces themselves, and even if he tried to order all of them at once, they all came from different manufacturers in different countries, so he was utterly and completely fucked.   
How much profit could be really make off this thing? Sollux has offered to buy it back from him and 20% below market value, but Dirk knew that he could find some geek just desperate enough to pay more, therefore paying off the price of the stupid pieces.   
He regretted staring this project, as he felt it was all out of his control, but his obstinate nature left him dissatisfied until he completed the task at hand.   
If he’d had a mother who cared, she might have begun pestering him about his grades, telling him in the sweet saccharine voice of what he assumed was matronly love: “You can’t graduate, dear, if you have a D in history. come on darling, I believe you can work through this. Asks your sister! She’d love to tutor you. Even Dave would be able to assist you on your Econ final, you know how much he loves going on about the economy.” She would then smother him in kisses, and he would surrounded with the unbearable stench of perfume. “I believe in you, love. you just have to put your mind to it.”   
“Fuck off,” Dirk mumbled to himself, powering up his computer. “Fuck graduation.”   
The show he’d been watching before he fell asleep the night before was paused on a particularly raunchy scene, and he quickly closed the tab before he had to admit to himself that he’d been invested in the drivel the night before.   
Before opening a new tab, Dirk fumbled through the pocket of his jacket, pulling out his vape pen. Clearly his mother didn’t care whether or he abused substances (the irony that would have fallen upon them if she had) but Rose always threw a fit when he vaped in the so called “Shared living spaces”, so he was confined to the secrecy of his own room. Even Sollux frowned upon it, after Aradia had convinced him that it was unattractive, so even at lunch when they were alone behind the cafeteria, he wasn’t allowed to vape.  
Dirk knew that this wasn’t the worst thing that could happen; cutting down was likely in his best interest. It was mostly the shakes that were frustrating him. he felt pressured now to use it whenever he could, just to ward off the withdrawals for a little longer. By the time he got home from school, the ponding in his head was so strong he couldn’t think about anything else.   
He could feel himself relax after the first hit, corded muscles coming unspooled, the stress unwinding around him.   
his computer beeped, and he clicked on the pesterchum chat box: 

twinArmageddons began pestering timaeusTestified:  
TA: dirk.   
Here was Sollux again.   
TA: any luck on that piece of shit?   
TT: Nothing. I'll have to ship it from fucking India. It’s gonna cost a small fortune.   
TA: rip man.   
Dirk watched the small message bubbles that indicated that Sollux was typing him something appear and disappear. He was getting ready to log off entirely, when the message came through.   
TA: has dave said anything about kk lately?   
KK? Karkat, that junior that always seemed pissed off. He’d slammed a door in Dirk’s face once, and he couldn’t find it within himself to forgive the kid.   
What would Dave have anything to say about him? the only person his brother talked to outside of rose and himself was that Egbert kid.   
TT: Not as far as I know. Why?   
Again the bubble appeared and disappeared. Dirk liked to picture Sollux hunched over his computer, hair greasy and unwashed, eating leftovers with the plastic chopsticks Aradia had bought him from Daiso after repeated complaints of the amount of disposable ones she found piled around his room. Dirk would have gotten him metal ones, and he recommended as much to her, but she told him they were too expensive, and he hadn’t wanted to insult her by offering to pay for them himself.   
TA: look man he’s been bothering me all day about this. says it’s urgent.   
TT: That doesn’t answer my question.   
TA: i can’t tell you what he wants without breaching his confidence, and normally i wouldn’t really give a shit, but you know how he can be   
TT: I don’t know how he can be because I don’t know him.   
TT: If it’s about Dave’s questionable sexuality, though, I can give him my vote of confidence for into dick.   
TT: It’s worth noting that this guy has some problems when it comes to acknowledging this, though, so I’d say he’s shit out of luck.   
TA: fuck man. well i’ll report back.   
TT: Later.   
twinArmageddons ceased pestering timaeusTestified. 

The Strider-Lalonde family was infamous within their suburban neighbourhood for producing not one, but two gay children. Dirk and Rose had both announced from a young age that they had no intention of ever holding a relationship with the opposite sex. Obviously their mother hadn’t cared; Why should she? She likely didn’t even know. Dirk couldn’t remember a single parent teacher meeting she’d attended in his entire school career. As such, all three of the children were the brunt of taunting, and while Dirk and Rose had never been particularly bothered about the thoughts of their peers, young Dave had taken it pretty hard.   
Dirk remembered how spiteful Dave had been at thirteen, refusing to acknowledge him or Rose and the passed each other in the hallways, and calling them names to their faces. Rose hadn’t been particularly bothered by Dave’s petulance. whenever Dirk had pressed her, she would always cite the root of their problems as “the adolescent twin phenomenon” wherein which twins, despite the closeness and relationship they’d had prior would eventually have a large falling out, likely corresponding with puberty.   
Dave hadn’t taken it as well. He and Dave had always been close growing up, the two of them roughhousing and play fighting in the backyard with sticks and lightsabers and whatever vaguely sword shaped objects they could get their hands on. Even when the competition was no longer fair, when Dirk had grown four inches in a year, and lone strands of hair grew on his chin, Dave continued to spar him, a surprisingly dexterous eleven year old. It all stopped when Dirk had stood up at the dinner table and announced that he was gay. His mother barely looked up from her newspaper, pausing for the briefest moment to meet his eyes, and then reading on as if he hadn’t said anything at all. Rose smiled at him then. She’d confided in him already, but they had decided mutually that he should come out first as a way to test the waters. People tended to have more violent reactions when it came to gay men than they did women, and they both understood that what might seem like acceptance of Rose could easily turn to harm against Dirk.   
Dave had scowled. he hadn’t yet picked up the habit of wearing sunglasses constantly (he had Egbert to blame for that. Why did he ever buy these Ben Stiller aviators off of ebay? How many other presents could he have gotten?) and it was easy to read his expression.   
“What the fuck Dirk?” He’d shouted, causing any lingering attention that was directed at Dirk to be turned onto Dave. “I—I trusted you!”   
Rose and Dirk met each other’s eyes over the table. It wasn’t that the Strider-Lalonde’s were prone to anger; it was that their particular brand ran cold. Passive aggression, snide remarks, and cruel comments whispered under breath. It was rare for a Strider-Lalonde to raise their voice, regardless of whether the scenario required it, and for Dave to react in such a manner was unheard of.   
“What’s wrong with him?” Rose had asked.   
“Jealous, probably.” Dirk had replied.   
It had been a few years since Dave’s outburst and a few fewer years since Dave had begrudgingly accepted his elder brother’s homosexuality. Dirk had forgiven him long ago, but it was moments like these, when Dave had a perfectly good male suitor (albeit Dirk knew very little about Karkat other than the fact that he had moved into the school district a few years prior, and was one of four kids who were neither white nor east asian.) and would likely ignore it simply because he refused to acknowledge his latent bisexuality.   
It wasn’t even just speculation at this point. Straight guys tended not to leave their computers logged on to pornhub/gay after a suspicious break in the middle of watching Cruel Intentions. Even Dirk had the decency to wait until after the movie was finished to fantasize about Ryan Phillippe, but he’d also been cognizant of his desire, and was able to keep it under control. One could only peruse gay porn for ironic purposes for so long before it became evident that despite what he’d managed to convince himself, he was into it because of the guys.   
Dirk took another minute to stare at his computer screen, Sollux’s message blurring against the white screen. He checked his watch, and found that it was nearly midnight. He had a comp-sci test tomorrow, which he wasn’t worried about, but even he could recognize when he was completing destructive behaviours for the sole purpose of harming himself.   
As he wrapped himself in a tight nest of blankets that he hadn’t washed in months, Dirk drifted off to sleep, the air thick with the smell of creme brulee vape and reheated marinara sauce


	4. Dave Is The Only StriLonde Who Can Drive Because He’s the Only One who Isn’t Gay

IV.   
When Dave parked his car the next morning, Dirk grabbed his elbow. Rose had been sitting in the backseat (Today was a Monday, and therefore, Dirk got to ride shotgun) but she’d bolted out of the car as soon as the front of his tires met the curb, and as far as he could tell, spastically running towards Kanaya who sat on the stairs leading into the building, holding something that looked an awful lot like a velvet sack.   
“Yeah, bro?” Dave asked. It was unusually that Dirk made any effort in communicating with him.   
“Look.” He paused and ran a hand through his perfectly coiffed hair. It sprung back into place as soon as his fingers had left his head. “I know you don’t want to hear this, especially not from me, but really, really if you do find that you like--”   
“You’re right, Dirk, I don’t want to hear this from you.” He turned the car off with more force than was necessary. “I don’t want to hear this at all.”   
“Fine dude, your fucking loss.” He smiled quickly, so close one would miss it if their were looking too close to his mouth. It was the kind of smile only visible in the eyes, and with his stupid anime shades, Dave had to know to look for the way his cheeks tugged slightly. “But if you see Sollux today, tell him you changed your mind.”   
“Changed my mind on what?” Dave said, opening the door. “I’m not helping you on another one of your batshit schemes. You’ve got two months before you get out of this shithole for good. Why don’t you study instead of fucking with Sollux’s head?”   
“Fuck off, it’ll be funny.” Dirk now had something a lot closer to a traditional smile on his face.   
“Whatever man, I don’t even have any classes with him.” Dave grumbled, grabbing his backpack from the trunk.   
Despite the fact that they both had classes in the same direction, Dirk chose to take the long route, likely meeting Sollux behind the cafeteria. Until Aradia had confirmed that she and Sollux were actually a couple, Dave had been pretty sure that his brother and Sollux had been doing more than just computer work.   
When he arrived at the front of the school, Kanaya and Rose long gone, John and Terezi immediately accosted him.   
“What’re you up to, cool kid,” Terezi’s face was by no means unpleasant. Her sharp nose and crooked smile say nicely of her triangular head. Even the odd cat eye glasses suited her, toned a dark red. Still, she had a leer that seemed to always be pressed into her features. All the worry lines that say around her mouth and forehead were invisible when she smiled like that.   
“Nothing dude.” Dave smiled as politely as he could. “Hey John.”   
They bumped their fists, and Dave relaxed.   
“What’s up Dave! I know you two know each other, but i thought it might be food for you to reintroduce yourselves. Fresh start.” He smiled brightly. “What do you think?”   
“Sounds good to me.” When Dave looked into his reflection in Terezi’s glasses, he saw hers in his own. How they mirrored each other.   
“What’s your name?” there was that leer again.   
“Dave. and you?” he stuck out his hand.   
“Terezi.” She caught his hand perfectly. “You smell weird. You changed your cologne, didn’t you.”   
“Uh…” Dave looked to John for support, and he shrugged. “Yeah I did.”   
“Good that other stuff was terrible. Come on John!” She hooked her arm around him and tugged them both away, her cane waving wildly through the air in front of her.   
“Dodged a bullet there.” Dave mumbled to himself.   
“Hey!” John’s sister, Jade, tapped him on the shoulder. “How are you!”   
Jade’s incessantly cheery behaviour must be some sort of Egbertian inheritance. Every member of the family, from John to Jade to their Dad to John’s Nanna, and even his weird uncle who spoke in the world’s stupidest British accent had the same demeanor. Maybe that’s why Dave was so drawn to John; he represented the opposite of everything the Strider-Lalonde family stood for. If someone felt something they said it.   
And here was Jade standing in front of him, looking like she was finally going to admit her true feelings.   
“What’s up, Jade?” SHe was sweet. But she was also so young. She had green bands on her braces and had worn the same glasses since fourth grade, round wireframes that made her eyes look even bigger than they already were.   
“Hiya Dave.” She smiled. Her teeth looked like John’s.   
Dave shook his head. That was a weird thought.   
“Well?” He asked, keeping his tone neutral.   
“I uh, I wanted to ask you something.” She bit her lip demurely. Yet another thing that sent nausea creeping up from his stomach. “So, are you going with anyone to prom? Not that I’m...I was just--”   
“No, not at the moment.” He cursed himself. Why had he said it like that? Like there was someone he was planning on going to prom with? Both he and John had agreed that prom wasn’t worthwhile, a stupid tradition left over from debutante days.   
It was times like these that he wished the hyena would eat his face instead of the maid’s.   
“Oh! Well, you know how John is going with Terezi, and I was…” Jade began to speak, but Dave only heard the first bit.   
John was going to prom with Terezi? Without saying anything about it to him first? Dave bit the inside of his cheek. Whatever, I’m not his mother, but he didn’t even say anything to me?   
What if’s were bouncing around in his head, what if John is sick of me, what if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, what if he’s chosen Terezi over me?   
He knew it wasn’t logical. John had stuck by him through much worse (how painful it must have been to watch Dave date Terezi, while he struggled to find any common ground with Vriska; Their arrangement had seemed fair at the time, both of us like Terezi, Terezi likes Dave, and Vriska likes John, in her own weird way. It just made the most sense logistically he’d said to John, pointing at a shoddily drawn chart Rose had provided for them. Plus, relationships freshman year don’t even matter.) Why should this be the thing that tore them apart?   
“Dave? Were you listening?” Jade reached out as if to brush his arm, but pulled her hand back at the last moment.   
“Oh yeah, totally.” He smiled, the patented Strider-Lalonde smile. Mostly lip, a few teeth, eyes uningaged. It didn’t matter anyway, because you couldn’t see past the reflective lenses. He wondered what it was like to be mirrored back on the other side.   
“Okay! It didn’t really seem like you were paying attention, but as I was saying, maybe we could do a group thing, you and me, John and Terezi? I know I’m only a freshman, but it could be super fun. I promise I won’t be a drag.”   
Through the flurry of students making their way to first period, Dave saw Karkat’s head bob. The flash of grey sweater and tangled black hair was unmistakable.   
“Hey Jade, let me get back to you on that, okay?” He patted her shoulder and hurried off to follow him.   
The hallways were difficult enough to navigate as it was, and combined with Karkat’s short stature, it was nearly impossible to make him out through the crowd. Dave tried to wrack his memory for what class he would have first, but it evaded him.   
He saw Aradia, dark red boots that hit just past her knees and tan felt fedora that was almost swallowed in her sea of dark hair.   
Sollux stood next to her, gangly and pallid compared to the caramel of her skin.   
“Hey man.” He slapped his hand onto Sollux’s back, startling him.   
“What’s up?” Sollux said, looking irritated. His eyes were puffy, and his glasses were sinking down his nose. Dave was in that moment grateful for his aquiline nose. His glasses pretty much never slid down the bridge.   
“Sollux, babe.” Aradia pushed his glasses up for him, and pecked him on the cheek. Sollux flushed a litte, his ears turning pinkish.   
“I was just wondering what Karkat has for first period.” Dave said. “I mean, shit, not like in a creepy way, I just wanted to ask him something.”   
Both Sollux and Aradia were giving him a strange look.   
“I mean, I just, uh, you know…” Dave trailed off awkwardly.   
“What did you want to ask him?” Sollux asked. “I can relay the message for you.”   
Dave had to bite his cheek as hard as he could as so not to open his mouth and ramble out some more drivel about his poorly thought through plan.   
“I, uh, wanted to ask him about--” He paused again. “Kanaya. I wanted to ask what he thought Kanaya was up to.”   
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Aradia cut in. “Or even ask your sister?”   
“I wanted to hear from him.” Dave said. He could feel Sollux burning holes into his skin. “Y’know, seeing as they’re like, friends and all.”   
“Okaaay.” Aradia smiled pityingly at him. “He’s got chemistry first.”   
“Right, chemistry.” He looked down at his watch. “Oh shit! Class starts in two.”   
Sollux smirked at him.   
“Uh, what’s his class right before lunch?” Dave asked quickly.   
“Math. He’s got Ms. Yang.”   
“Thanks guys!” And he hurried off to class.


	5. Train

V.   
If she’d felt nervous the night before, waiting for Rose on the steps outside of school was some sort of reckoning. It was unlike her to sweat (especially when she was wearing a chiffon blouse, oh the stains she must have created) but she felt utterly drenched.   
It had gone over well enough, in her own opinion, no tears or blood were shed throughout the entire affair, and Rose had genuinely seemed to like the dress. Granted, she had yet to try it on, but Kanaya felt confident enough in her knowledge of Rose’s measurements that it would fit like a glove, unless something had drastically changed in the last month and a half.   
After she had placed the dress in its garment bag and hung it in Rose’s oversized instrument locker, the two girls walked to Kanaya’s first period, English.   
“I love you, Kanaya.” Rose said quietly, so quietly Kanaya almost missed it. This was how it was with her, affection hidden under layers of saronic comments and acidic judgement.   
“I love you too, Rose.” The door opened beyond them, sending a couple stray students skittering noisily down the hallway.   
“Hey Kanaya, has Dave been acting strange lately?” Rose asked, putting her hand on kanaya’s collarbone.   
“Why are you asking me? He’s your brother.”   
“Look, Dirk and I have been talking, and we think there’s something going on. He’s been acting weird—well weirder than usual.” Rose looked at her with those eyes, such a deep blue they could almost be mistaken for purple.   
“You guys think he’s finally coming out.” Kanaya smirked. “Look, I’m just as sharp as you. I’ve had the same feeling for a while.” 

“My question is why now? Dirk graduates in two months. Wouldn’t it make more sense to wait so that he can’t rub it in his face? Because we all just know how he’s gonna make a big fuss about it. He’s been harbouring some resentment for years now. I’m not even sure if Dave is aware. I think he’s forgotten what a massive prick he was to Dirk. in his defence, we were thirteen. Thirteen year olds are notorious for being incredibly fucking stupid. If stupid were a freight train, thirteen year olds would be those trains that take stretch on for miles. Like when you’re waiting at a railway crossing and every time you think it’s finished, another car cuts into your view. The stupidity of thirteen year olds is endless.”   
“That was not one of your best comparisons.” Kanaya said, and Rose nodded.   
“It’s easier when I have someone to riff off of. If you didn’t, and stupidly I might add, refuse to engage me in silly comparisons, maybe there would be a higher frequency of genuinely good comparisons.” Rose said.   
“Don’t patronise me.” Kanaya said. “Just ask your brother.”  
“Dirk never bites.” Rose frowned. “And Dave’s been super weird lately.”   
“Look, give him time. He’s been struggling with this shit for years now. If he’s finally ready, who gives a shit.” She watched as Rose fiddles with the loose string on her cardigan. Kanaya made a mental note to fix it. “Look, instead of being weird and dodgy about it, why don’t you just confront him? Out of everyone, I think he trusts you the most. Even with John he’s been distant. Believe me, Ive had a steady stream of messages flooding my computer from him, each one asking me what to do about the growing distance. I told him it was about time he told Dave that he and Terezi were together—“   
“John is with Terezi? That…” She trailed off. “Was not something I anticipated.”   
“He said that coming clean felt really good, and that Dave actually seemed to take it well.” Kanaya was pleased with herself. “Mostly I recommended that because I knew he would likely end up guilt tripping Dave into coming clean on his end.”   
“I love it when you’re devious.” Rose glances up and down the hallway before kissing Kanaya discreetly on the cheek.   
“I love it too.” She glanced at her watch. “Shit, Rose you better run.”   
“All right, I’ll see you!” Rose kissed her once more, caution thrown out the window. While they both agreed that PDA was particularly disgusting, every once in awhile, the temptation was too much.   
As Rose disappeared into the thick stream of students running to their classes, Kanaya saw Dave’s blond head racing through the crowd.   
“Weird.” She mumbled to herself, and went into class.


	6. In Which The Strider-Lalonde Boys Talk About Their Feelings In The School Parking Lot

VI.   
Despite his early bedtime the night before, Dirk found himself falling asleep during Econ.   
“Dirk!” Aranea Serket touched his arm. “Wake up.”   
He opened his eyes blearily. What was point. He had a high enough B in the class, and the final was optional, so it wasn’t worth it to try and stay awake through the lecture.   
“Fuck off, Serket.” Dirk mumbled.   
“Ugh.”  
“Yes, Aranea?” The teacher said, in what Dirk could only assume was in response to the raising of her hand.   
“So clearly, the understanding of neo-liberal austerity measures and their effects on the american economy are important, but is it going to be on the final?” Aranea asked with as much pretension in her voice as she could muster.   
“For the last time, Aranea, the final isn’t talking about economic philosophies. It’s primarily covering microeconomics. I’ve even told you what the essay is going to be about. as long as you understand the effects of raising minimum wage, you should be fine.” The teacher said.   
“But—“ Aranea pleaded.   
“Shut the fuck up stupit dumpass,” Mituna captor said, and Dirk smiled.   
“Mituna!” His girlfriend, Latula Pyrope, chastised him. “Leave her alone.”   
“I’m sorry.” He said bitterly. “I’m sorry.”   
“It’s fine, it’s fine.” There was warmth in her voice. With all of Mituna’s mental health issues and learning disabilities, she seemed to be the only one who could pacify him properly. Even sollux, struggled and they’d lived together their entire lives.   
“Go get ‘em Mituna,” Dirk leaned back in his chair. “Fuck her shit up.”   
“Dirk, I swear to god.” Aranea turned around and slammed her fists on his desk. “Are you hearing yourself?”   
“Loud and clear, dude.” He stood up and grabbed his backpack. “Look, I’m done here. This shit is useless.”   
“Dirk!” the teacher called after him in vain, but he was already out the door.   
He preferred the hallways when they were empty. No longer having to jostle for space, he could run as fast as he wanted, running his hands along the stucco walls.   
He was eighteen, they couldn’t legally keep his here. He was fucking finished with the futility of it all. He’d already taught himself anything he thought was worth knowing. This was just going through the motions, a useless exercise in self-control.   
How many times had he pictured this moment, getting up from his desk and running out of the school, summer breeze on the back of his neck.   
Who would care if he left for good. It didn’t even matter where he went, he just wanted out.   
His mother, obviously, would not even notice his absence. Rose? She would be hurt, but she’d get over it in time. If anyone understood, it would be her. Dave? Who gave a shit about Dave. He was clealry dealing with his own shit, and Dirk wanted no part in it.   
Sollux maybe? Maybe he’d worry after Dirk.   
Unlikley. The extent of their relationship was sitting next to each other during lunch and watching their respective anime.   
Yeah they talked a bit, but nothing outside of shop-talk and the occasional “How was your weekend” that neither of them really cared about. It was all about going through the motions.   
He stood in the parking lot, the hot April sun beating against his skin. There was a breeze, a zephyr, and Dirk allowed the air to wash over him. He felt overheated, overworked.   
“Why don’t you turn it off and on again?” Dirk could hear Sollux’s lisp clearly in his head.   
“Fuck.” He looked into his hands. What was there left outside of highschool? What was there left here? He normally kept himself occupied, moving from project to project, watching more TV than could be considered healthy, he even went out a few weeks back, tagging along on one of Rose and Kanaya’s dates, third-wheeling. It had been a remarkable step, Rose had remarked. Dirk Strider seen outside!   
He’d wanted to argue that he spent plenty of time outdoors, that the pallor of his skin was due to a melanin deficiency all three Strider-Lalonde’s shared, but it would have been in vain.   
“What are you doing out here?” Dirk turned around, and found himself face to face with his brother.   
“I, uh, I had to leave class.” Dirk muttered.   
“Me too.” Dave said. “I’m sick of this shit.”   
“Yeah.” Dirk pushed his sunglasses back up on the bridge of his nose. “Look, I’m thinking about leaving.”   
“Leaving where? Here? Why?” Dave asked, his face full of confusion.   
“I’m just done with this shit. It’s getting to be fucking intolerable. I--you wouldn’t understand.”   
“The fuck do you mean I wouldn’t understand? I’m being attacked on all sides over here. You don’t think I’ve noticed how you and Rose have been scheming? I might not be as intelligent as you and Rose, but I’m not a dumbass.”   
“The fuck do you mean, scheming? All I’ve been doing is trying to help you, Dave.”   
“Bullshit! What’s up with that Sollux thing? Not to mention I found that stupid note on the fridge. Hey! Don’t try and explain yourself, I don’t give a shit. Look, it’s a fucking miracle you figured out my plan before I did, but shut the fuck up for once.” Dave as biting the inside of his cheek again, and he looked smaller, more waifish.   
“What note?” As far as he could remember, Dirk had not written any sort of note recently.   
“Don’t play dumb! I know you’ve been waiting for years for me to admit it. I know that you’ve been biding your goddamn time just to say I told you so.” Dave’s ears were flushed. “YOu want me to say it? You want to me to finally fucking admit it?”   
“I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you, bro. You seem like you’re losing your shit though.” Dirk said, reaching out to try and steady Dave.   
“Fuck off.” Dave swatted his hand away. “YOu want me to say it? Fine. I’m bi. I like guys. I’ve always liked guys! FUcking always!”   
Dirk took another step back when his brother began to cry. “Holy shit dude.”   
“Look, I like guys and I think I’m in fucking love with Karkat Vantas. Does that make you happy? Does that make you fucking happy? Are you gonna call me names now, the way I did to you? Are you gonna get me back for all the terrible shit I said to you when we were younger? Because I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry. I wish I could take back everything I did and everything I said that would hurt you. I was scared, I was so scared.”   
Dave was crying now, tears streaming down his cheeks from under his glasses.   
“Hey, hey.” Dirk said softly. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad you trust me.”   
He reached over and hugged Dave, grip iron tight to keep them from falling over.   
“I love you Dave, we all do, regardless of how you identify, okay? I’m not mad at you for acting how you did when we were younger. Internalized homophobia is hard to deal with even under the best of circumstances, okay? I got you.”   
“Hnggm,” Dave mumbled into his shirt.   
It would have been quite the sight to see, the two Strider-Lalonde boys hugging it out in the middle of the school parking lot, but in that moment, no one could see them no matter how hard they looked.


	7. Dave Blithers About Economic Theory

VII.  
He hadn’t realised how good it would feel to finally say aloud.   
“I am bisexual.” He whispered to himself as he waited outside the door of Ms. Yang’s class. “I like guys. More specifically, I like Karkat.”   
“Who are you talking to?” Kanaya stared him down.   
“Oh, uh, no one.” He chastised himself internally. “Can’t a guy mumble to himself in peace?”   
“Not with that attitude,” She paused. “Have you seen Dirk? He sent Rose a weird text earlier. She seemed worried about him.”   
“He’s fine. I dropped him off at home. I think he just needed a day off. School is really starting to get to him.” Dave tried to smile reassuringly. “Tell Rose not to worry about him. He’ll be fine.”   
“I wish that made me feel better than it does.” Kanaya said curtly. “Now may I ask why you’re waiting outside of a math class you don’t take?”   
“You may, but I won’t answer.” Dave rather liked Kanaya’s syntax. He assumed she’d picked it up from her mother. ESL learners really were the best. “I’m all right.”   
“Fine.” She looked at him, squinting, her almond eyes disappearing into a maze of wrinkles. “Have you finished the writeup? It’s due next period, and I really don’t want to waste my lunch period--”   
“DOn’t sweat it, Kanaya, I got it. I already emailed you the document. All that’s left is to print and staple it, which I’d appreciate if you could do.”   
“Fine, but only because you stayed late yesterday.” She stopped. “What happened after I left?”   
Dave froze. There was suspicion in her voice, not necessarily out of character, but of all the people he assumed would be curious about his feelings for Karkat, Kanaya remained at the bottom of his list.   
“I didn’t think you cared.” He said, words measured.   
“You must know how I can be. Ever the meddler.” Her gaze was cool, too cool. “Rose asked. She said you were in a mood when you came home.”   
“You know how she is. Always saying things she doesn’t mean.” Dave shot back. “Nothing happened, just two bros chillin’ in the library, getting mad shit done.”   
“Do not dudebro your way out of this, Strider-Lalonde. There are things that may go over other’s heads, but I am fully aware.” She sighed. “Look, come clean to her. She wants to support you. She wants you to be true to yourself, okay? Take it from me. Rose always wants what she thinks is best, and in this case, I agree with her, as do Dirk and John--”   
“Have you guys been having forum meetings without me? So now everyone in the known fucking universe gets to decide what’s best for me? Why don’t I get a say. I’ll come out when I damn well want to.” He stopped. “Shit. Fuck. Forget I said anything.”   
A look of amusement spread across Kanaya’s face.   
“Am I the first person you told? If so, I’m very flattered.”   
“Second. I told Dirk already.” He bit his cheek so hard he could taste blood. “Please don’t say anything to Rose. I’ll tell her in my own time.”   
“Don’t worry.” She reached to him as if she was going to put a hand on his shoulder, but wrapped him in a hug instead. “Your secret is safe with me.”   
“It’s not a secret.” Dave grumbled, but he was relieved regardless.   
“The fuck are you two assholes doing here? Is this some sort of fucking idiot festival?”   
“Calm down, Karkat, Dave just wanted to say hi.” Kanaya smirked and shoved Dave forward, so he nearly toppled into Karkat. “Bye, boys!”   
“So. You wanted to say hi?” Karkat had to tilt his head up to look at him, but Dave still felt very small beside him.   
“Uh, yeah.” Dave put his hand on the back of his neck and rocked back on his heels. “Uh, shit, um, I, uh…”   
“Are you having a fucking stroke? Attention assholes, the infamous Dave--shit what’s your last name? Striker-Lozenge? Oh, Strider-Lalonde--the infamous Dave Strider-Lalonde is having a fucking stroke! All attention should be directed towards us! Who knows? HIs glasses might even come off!”   
“Shut the fuck up.” Dave said quietly. “Seriously.”   
“Well call me a competitive eater and shove a hotdog down my throat!” Karkat coughed. “Okay that was weirdly homoerotic, so let’s nix that one and--”   
“Can I be overtly homerotic?” The words fell out of Dave’s mouth before he could think them through. “I mean shit.”   
“Uhhh…” Karkat glanced around uncomfortably. “I uh…”   
“I like you.” Dave said, the taste of iron strong in his mouth from the fucking cut in his mouth that he’d reopened with all his nervous biting. “Prom?”   
“You’re not seriously asking me to prom?” Karkat laughed. “Oh my god, you’re serious!”   
Dave took a step back, but found himself pressed against the wall. It felt like everyone in the school was staring at him.   
“Oh shit, sorry that came out wrong I--” Karkat put out a hand stopping Dave from bolting. “Dude, of course. I...well I was thinking about asking you the same thing, but your brother said--”   
“You asked Dirk?”   
“Well, not directly...I asked Sollux, and he asked your brother.” It was Karkat’s turn to run his hand agains the back of his neck. “Look, I didn’t want to fuck anything up between us, and when Sol said that you weren’t into dudes, I was ready to back down, but he messaged me earlier, saying that Dirk had some new info--”  
“That bastard!”   
“Yeah, whatever, so I was confused throughout all of math class--You know how hard it is to do fucking trigonometry when you can’t get a guy out of your head--” Karkat ducked his head. “Fuck that was so cheesy, I might as well just call my head some fucking italian carbs, and my mouth and fucking curdled cow milk producer...”   
“Jesus, that was shit.” Dave laughed. “I thought Rose was bad at coming up with those, but you fucking suck.”   
“Fuck you.” Karkat blushed. “Yes.”   
“Yes what?” Dave asked.   
“The fuck do you mean yes what, you just asked me to prom you dumbass! I said yes.” He seemed irrationally flustered.   
“Oh shit yeah. Uh, so other than prom, do you like wanna go on a date in the meantime? It can really be anywhere…”   
“Sounds good. I guess we could go see a movie or get dinner or something.” Karkat offered. By this point the halls had emptied out, save for a few stragglers. “Anything except Indian food, my mom has been driving me up the fucking wall. One can only eat so many samosas.”   
“Indian food is out. How does some white people food sound?”   
“Yeah what kind of white are you?”   
“Bro, racist!” Dave laughed. “My mom is french, that’s where the Lalonde is from, but I have no fucking idea where Strider came from. I like to imagine it’s some sick ass medieval country with like broadswords and peasant ladies up to their asses in feudalism though. I would kick back in my lordship palace, and when my dad finally died, I would single handidly fix the fucking economy, with some minor wealth distribution and a healthy dose of trickle down economics.”   
“Dave those two things are mutually fucking exclusice. You can’t have both.” Karkat said indignantly. “Plus, your weird pseudo-communist spiel Sollux was telling me about yesterday seems like a point against capitalist trickle down theory. Come on man, we both know that shit doesn’t work.”   
“Well what do you think? Should we lean in the way of the Russians, and fuck some shit up for sixty years and then throw our collective ushankas into the ring and say fuck it! Give the people Levi jeans! Or should we be good Americans and say fuck it! Our economy has always been and always will be exploitative and fucked up, but fuck communism, because it oppresses the people. Or maybe we should do what China does, and pretend to be communist while actually fucking shit up on a federal fucking level.”   
“Jesus, Karkat, just ‘cause India can’t make up its mind on what economic system it wants to enforce doesn’t mean you gotta spout this bullshit at me.” Dave smiled broadly. “But I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying hearing you shit on both communism and capitalism. It leaves little to the imagination.”   
“I fucking hate economic theory, Dave, and I hate that you’ve dragged me into your stupid fantasy of indulging yourself on criticism of the free market.”   
“Bro we haven’t even gotten to the free market yet. Wait ‘til you hear about my thoughts on government regulation in regards to minimum wage. Fucking Dirk is supposed to be studying it, but he doesn’t give a shit so I took this packet they were working on and ended up filling the hole thing out. I’m pretty sure he turned it in as his own work, but I did it in red pen, so I don’t know why the teacher would ever believe it was his, but who fucking cares I really enjoyed doing it, and I’m pretty sure it bumped up his grade from a C, so I was really just doing him a favour.”   
“The three of you are all the fucking same, man, you never shut the fuck up.” Karkat grinned, flashing a mouthful of white teeth that contrasted nicely against his dark skin.   
“That’s rich coming from you, asshole. You talk more than the three of us combined!” Dave jostled him with his shoulder. “YOu wanna sit with me at lunch? Make it our first date or whatever?”   
“It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do. Sollux and Aradia are basically attached at the hip these days, and even when he’s not with her, he’s sitting with your brother behind the cafeteria getting up to god knows what.”  
“Trust me, they are not fucking. Dirk’s got daddy issues man. He liked his men to be at least like twenty years older than him and able to bench like 200 pounds. Captor’s like a fucking twig.”   
“Gross! Please never tell me again about the kinds of guys your brother likes to fuck, it puts an unpleasant image in my head. Not to mention I really would have pegged him as a top.”   
“Ha! Pegged him.” Dave laughed.   
“Wow, so fucking mature.” Karkat rolled his eyes. “Where to, Lord Strider?”   
“Lead the way.” I could get used to this, Dave thought.


	8. Betrayal

VIII.  
Naturally, the first thing Kanaya did was tell Rose.  
“I told you so!” She’d said in response, and kanaya had smiled.   
“I never doubted you.” She said. “But don’t tell him I said anything. You don’t have to act surprised when he tells you, he knows you already know, but don’t say that I said anything.”   
“What, am I new? Come on.”   
Rose smiled at her, sharp and dangerous.   
“We make quite the team, don’t we.” Kanaya smiled back. Now let’s get on to our lunch, shall we? 

Kanaya sat in the backseat of Dave’s car as they drove home from school. She’d always admired the newness of his car. Everyone in town knew that the Strider-Lalondes were wealthy, but to be inside of a new Mustang that belonged to a sixteen year old boy, complete with the sharp tang of new car, and red paint wihtout a scratch was more money than Kanaya could imagine. She wondered how many hours her motehr would have to work at the tailor to afford such an extravigance, and to bestow it upon a teenager? Impossible. She had family back in Hong Kong who had enough money for these cars four times over, but considering they left and never looked back, the most she could really hope for was 3000 HKD in a little red envelope on new year's and her birthday. That was normally enough to tide her over for the year, expensing fabrics and makeup and other items she might want that she could never muster up the courage to ask her mother for, but it wasn’t as much as Rose had. She was reckless enough in her spending that they’d often go to stores, Burberry, or Bloomingdales, and rack up obnoxious amounts that if she or her mother had made, the bank would freeze their account and send an message asking if their card had been stolen,without batting an eye.   
Kanaya didn’t resent her for it, but she had to admit, it made her uncomfortable jealous in a way she could never vocalize. Even Dirk, with all his Ross bought clothes and computer resale business fell victim to the extravagance as well, always keeping himself updated with whatever the latest fashionable tech was, and paying premium for anime most people would just pirate online. Even his Juul was fancy, the metal plated kind that cost three times as much as a normal one. Yeah, it was scratched to shit and looked like he’d run it over with a car, but it didn’t disguise the 24 karat gold that coated the outer layer.   
It was no use commiserating her relative poverty, though. She knew she had it better than most. Sollux and Mituna could barely scrape by off of the disability and unemployment checks, and as long as their dad refused to get off his ass and work, Kanaya and her mother were stuck sending them checks to cover rent so the boys wouldn’t be thrown out of their apartment. Kanaya shivered at the thought of what might happen to poor Mituna if they got tossed out for good. He was barely functional as it was in the confined space, sharing a mattress with Sollux, but if he had to relocate, she could only imagine the fit he would throw. She hoped that if that did happen, the Pyrope’s might take him in; Still, the thought of Mituna left unsupervised with Terezi unnerved her. The girl had good intentions for the most part, but Kanaya had felt that she spent a little too much time around Vriska in her developmental years, and that it wasn’t the best scenario for Mituna to wind up in.   
“Kanaya, we’re here.” Rose tapped her shoulder, and smiled at her. How beautiful she looked in the lavender cardigan, a black jumpsuit with wide legged pants accentuating her physique. Kanaya loved her.   
“You’re gorgeous.” She muttered, and Rose smiled a tad deviously.   
“You can tell me that all you want once we’re in the privacy of my room,” Rose responded.   
“Ugh, stop being gross.” Dave honked the horn, startling them both. “I would say get a room, but you’ve got one. All I’m asking is that you go to it.”   
The girls walked across the broad green lawn and into Rose’s home. They ascended the lavish staircase, thick slabs of solid wood with a carpet that ran down and pooled out at the bottom, and entered Rose’s room, spacious with large multi-paned windows that opened up onto a balcony that overlooked the rest of the street.   
“Now that that’s over, let’s talk about the dress.” Rose said, shucking off her cardigan and slipping out of the jumpsuit in one fluid motion. “First of all, it’s absolutely gorgeous. Second of all, if we don’t blow everyone out of the fucking water, then what’s the point?”  
“Agreed.” Kanaya laid the garment bag onto Rose’s bed, a canopy with great posts that rose nearly to the ceiling, covered in a thick sheet of gauzy silk chiffon.   
As she unzipped the bag, she felt Rose’s hands on her shoulder and her soft uneven breaths on her neck. She smiled inwardly as she smoothed out the dress, and they both took in the beauty of the piece.   
“It’s really gorgeous.” Rose murmured. “I can’t believe you weren’t going to show it to me.   
“Take off your bra.” Kanaya said, and then quickly brought her hand to her mouth. “Oh I’m sorry you know I didn't mean it like that.”   
Rose laughed, not the kind of laugh one would expect from a girl of her stature, hearty and full.   
“Of course.” She slid off her bralette, and tossed it in the floor next to her clothes. Kanaya marvelled at her beauty. It was quiet and refined. When Rose entered the room, no one’s head turned. Her slender figure was lent better to crawling through air ducts rather than dancing in the center of the hall. Rose was poised and her pale skin was as cold as marble. Everything about her suggested a lithe pixie, a far cry from Dave and Dirk’s Greek regality. Compared to the male Strider-Lalonde’s strong noses and sharp jaws and brow, Rose was the soft edges, everything round and polished. Her white blonde hair, another Strider-Lalonde signature was cut short, a tight bob that hung just below her ears.   
Simply out, Kanaya believed that Rose was a masterpiece, a greater beauty than anyone she’d ever known. To be present in front of her, in her full nudity felt like a kindness she didn’t deserve.   
“Kanaya, quit staring at me and get on the measurements. It’s cold!” Kanaya blushed again, and scrambled to pick up the dress from where it lay on the bed, and smoothed out the wrinkles.   
“Here,” She handed Rose the dress, and watched her delicate hands as she unzipped it. Her fingers bore chipped black and purple polish, remnants from a sleepover they’d had a few weeks before, wherein they’d grown bored of watching the ironic movies Dave had picked out, and instead made their way into Rose’s mother’s rooms and decorated themselves in fancy gowns and stilettos that elevated them half a foot, and painted their faces in expensive makeup. Kanaya has originally offered to paint Rose’s nails as a joke, but when she’d seemed genuinely excited at the offer, she took it upon herself to do the best job she was capable of.   
Years of hand stitching had provided her with more fine motor skills than she’d anticipated, easing her into the process of paint on nail, but even more years of never partaking in such rituals left her unsure of how much paint to apply at a time and how long to wait for it to dry.   
Rose was the perfect test animal, never correcting her poor behaviour and feigning delight at the results, ignoring how much excess paint lay caked in her nail bed and peeling from her cuticles. She fared fare more well on Kanaya’s hands, adeptly covering the entire nail in a few quick strokes and decorating the product with white flowers, tapping small circles onto her freshly dried nails with the back of a toothpick.   
Kanaya had been smitten in the moment, and longed to run her fingers through Rose’s hair. when she’d said as much, Rose had laughed, telling her that was exactly how she’d fuck them ip, and that she knew nothing was permanent, but she might as well enjoy a few days with beautiful nails before ruining them.   
When she had returned home the following morning, her mother hadn’t commented on her nails, and instead barraging her with questions about the happenings of the night.   
It just so happened that this visit was also the same one in which they had attempted to cast “majyyks” and in her frustration with her mothers impetuous inquisition, she had let slip one of the finer moments of the night, a candle-lit seance complete with Rose’s tarot deck and a Ouji board Dave had bought on Amazon.   
She told the story, thinking the comedic value of the situation (Dirk had thought it clever to go into the room above, and place a fan under one vent and his phone playing an assortment of spooky noises in the other. Dave had nearly been scared shirtless, but Rose had seemed almost hopeful.   
Her mother, however, did not find it nearly as amusing, and chewed her out for the rest of the car ride home about how dangerous it was to mess with spirits.   
Kanaya had tried to counter that her mother didn’t even believe in spirits, and when her relatives mentioned anything relating to superstition she’d laugh it off and call them paranoid, but this had only angered her further, and thus the ban of her setting foot in the Stroder-Lalonde house had been set.   
Clearly she wasn’t following the rule, as was evidenced by the fact she was literally at that moment in Rose’s bedroom which was inescapably part of the Strider-Lalonde home, but what her mother didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.   
“Kanaya!” Rose said as if she’d been trying to get her attention for a while. “Are you going to pin it at all?”   
Kanaya looked at the full scope of Rose (her girlfriend!) in the dress (she had made!) and audibly sighed.   
“Yes, there are a couple adjustments to be made, but overall it looks good.” She said. “Is anything bothering you?”   
“No, love, nothing at all.” Rose said, but her smile looked force. Kanaya told herself that it had nothing to do with the dress, and was far more likely a sense of betrayal she held towards her brother.


	9. There isn’t always a partner for everyone

IX.   
Since Dave’s coming out, Dirk had felt a little less irritated st the thought of coming to school. After Dave had him, Rose, and Kanaya home, they’d locked themselves in their respective bedrooms, and Dirk took the time to watch some anime on his computer shit he worked on his drawings.   
He’d recently begun a project involving increasingly obscene puppets engaged in niche sexual activities that he found humorous. Rose hated when he did such things. She was always telling him to apply himself properly to his art, but Dirk would rather draw puppets engage in hardcore fetish porn than sit down and do figure drawing.   
Why draw a bowl of fruit when he could draw a small green man being disembowelled while simultaneously receiving pleasure from three other similar looking men, each a different primarily color?   
Dave pretended to appreciate it, claiming some sort of ironic interest, but Dirk knew how uncomfortable it made him. Dave far prefered his surrealism and absurdism that he manifested into barely literate comics he called “Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff” two stoners who were always getting into trouble with fried JPEG artifacts.   
He glanced up only occasionally to witness Hikaru and Kaoru commit heinous crimes against humanity, largely directed at poor Haruhi, and spend most of his time toggling between the three brushes he’d built on his drawing program trying to properly master the look of pilled fabric. This was how he liked it, unintelligible murmur of Japanese and a hazy cloud of cotton candy vape. This was the reason why he didn’t want to go to college.   
It wasn’t that he wasn’t lonely; more than anything else Dirk longed for someone who would love him wholly and completely, and provide him love and emotional support, it was the fact that he knew that if he were to enter such a relationship, he would never be able to go back.   
Even the thought of moving out of the house, leaving behind Rose and Dave, seemed like to much. He didn’t want to imagine a life where he couldn’t blearily stumble up to the kitchen at four in the morning and have a baking competition with Rose, forcing Dave to judge pastries before the sun had risen.   
He knew that such things would exist within a dorm life, that he would meet new people, new friends who would be willing to partake in such shenanigans, but the thought of having to start from scratch was almost too much. He’d already invested so much time in these relationships, cultivated them. Why should he start fresh?   
The one thing he knew he would have if he left were options. All of the boys in his class, and even in his school repulsed him. Especially among the eligible bachelors, the guys who would consider a relationship with another guy, were the worst. There was Cronus, always, but even thinking about him made Dirk queasy. Dirk knew he had a lot in common with Horuss, a love for machines and horses to say the least but last time they’d attempted anything, Dirk had tried to run his fingers through Horuss’s hair and found it so greasy and thick with knots, he almost tore a chunk of it away from his head. Rufioh, perhaps, but he was a pushover and also probably a bottom, a part of the equation that made the whole thing all the more difficult.  
It didn’t help that most people read him as a top. Yes, he was masculine and aggressive and pushy and always vying for control, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like a good dicking down. It frustrated him how often (Twice. This had happened twice.) people would tell him that they’d found a guy they thought he’d get along with, and showed up with the world’s queeniest motherfucker who anticipated a dom top.   
He finished up a messy sketch of puppet rumps in an assortment of different colours.   
He took a hit from his vape, blowing it out through his nose.   
“DIRK!” Rose yelled. He rolled his head back in irritation. “CAN YOU COME UP HERE PLEASE!”   
“Ugh ahah,” He grumbled and walked up the stairs. “What do you want?”  
“How do I look?” She asked. she was wearing a lavender dress that spilled down past her knees, and hugged her chest and shoulders. Rose often looked regal or dignified, but in this dress she looked beautiful. He saw Kanaya standing behind her, smiling coyly.   
“You look great.” He said. “It’s really really nice.”   
“Thank you,” Kanaya cut in, Rose turned to smirk at her.   
“How humble.” Rose kissed Kanaya’s cheek. “But I agree, it is gorgeous.”   
“Then why as me?” Dirk said, making his way into the kitchen. “If you already know how good you look.”   
“You should be happy for me,” said Rose. “In everything I do.”   
“Whatever.” Dirk grabbed the bottle of apple juice, and finished it off.   
“The fuck are you doing?” Dave asked indignantly. “Did you just finish my fucking AJ?”   
“Where the fuck did you come from?” Dirk asked, tossing the empty bottle to his brother. “And why are you dressed so nicely?”   
“Uh, no reason.” He said quickly. “Fuck off. You finished my apple juice!”   
“Here.” He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and took out a wad of bills. “This should cover it.”   
“Fine.” Dave said. “But fuck you.”   
He stormed past Kanaya and Rose who looked at him amusedly. He threw open the cabinet with gusto, and tore through the drawers.   
“What are you looking for?” Rose asked.   
“Nothing.” Dave pressed his forehead to the top of the cabinet. “Whatever.”   
“Dave.” Kanaya said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “If there’s something you need to tell us…”   
“There’s nothing. Stop obsessing over me! Jesus.” Dave pushed Kanaya’s hand away. “Oh. Rose. You look really nice.”  
“Thank you.” She smiled. “What time do you think you’ll be able to drive Kanaya and I to the library?”   
“Shit.” Dave swore. “I, uh, I have a thing that I have to be at at 7:00, so I can’t drive you guys.”  
Dirk looked at his watch (It was a shitty and plastic and had Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony on the clock face, and rainbows as the hands. He fucking loved it. It was his most prized possession. He had bought it for six dollars from Claire’s.) It was fifteen minutes before Dave needed to be wherever he was, and the girls had five.   
“Shit.” Kanaya said. “Dirk, can you drive us?”   
“I don’t fucking know how to drive.” He responded.   
“Rose?” Kanaya pleaded. He knew Kanaya's mom didn’t like her coming over, claiming something about bad influence. If it had been anyone else, he pirbankh wouldn’t have cared, but he liked Kanaya enough and didn’t want to see her in trouble.  
“Dave is the only one who bothered to get his license. I could borrow Mom’s car, but I can’t promise to get us there in one piece.” Rose said.   
“Do not get into the car with her. Mom let her drive the car in the parking lot once—“   
“I was five!” Rose interjected.   
“And she nearly crashed the car into the building. I would not sit with her behind the wheel.” Dirk said.   
“Oh fuck off, Dirk.” Rose said. “I can drive us, but I can’t promise I’ll drive us well.”   
“Look, Id much rather try and convince Dave—“   
“Fine! I’ll drive you, but only if we leave now.” Dave shoved the door of the kitchen open, keys in his hand and fury in his face.   
“But I’m still wearing my dress!” Rose contested.   
“Then you can wait here.” Dave grabbed Kanaya’s hand and pulled her out into the hallway. “Bye!”   
Dirk made eye contact with Rose, and they held it for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter.   
“Oh my god!” She cried. “He’s so moody.”   
“It’s probably cause he’s meeting that Vantas kid. he never shuts the fuck up,” Dirk said.   
“Oh! Kanaya wouldn’t tell me who it was that he liked. that makes sense though.” She paused. “In a weird kind of way, they really complement each other, don’t they.”   
“It took me awhile to wrap my mind around it.” Dirk admitted. “But it makes a weird kind of sense. They both hide parts of themselves behind masks, Dave with his irony and closed emotional status, and from Sollux tells me, Karkat and his anger and irritation. I guess in a way, Dave believes that Karkat sees him in a way that no one else does. I’m glad he’s found someone that he thinks really gets him.”   
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Rose said. “Kanaya and I thought we were perfect for each other too, but a stable relationship takes work. I’m scared that because Dave has never really had to build any sort of relationship with anyone, be it romantic or otherwise, he won’t know what to do.   
“What about John? And Terezi for that matter?” asked Rose.   
“He has never not been friends with John, come on. They’ve been inseparable forever. As for Terezi, They’ve also known each other since they were tiny. You skip a lot of the building blocks of a relationship when you’re there for their institution. You don’t have to ask about anyone’s past if you were there for it. With Terezi, they’d had their weird friendly rivalry for years before they started anything. And even that’s not a very good example anyways because their relationship fell apart incredibly quickly. They were always too similar in some senses, and in others, too different. They brought out some of the worst in each other.”   
“That’s why she’s better off with John, huh.” Rose agreed. “They’re more comparable. But to that point, how can we know that Dave and Karkat aren’t compatible?”   
“We don’t! That’s my whole thing.” Dirk said. “Believe me, Im glad Dave finally found the guy that he needed to push him into the right direction of coming out. Whether they actually work well together? Time can only tell. And Dave’s always been good with time.”   
“I think I see your point.” She smiled. “It’s good if you to forgive him. I think that was something he was really worried about.”   
“I’m just surprised he told me before he told you.”  
“I’m not. he knew that if he told me I would tell you immediately. This route allowed him to confess to you before anyone else. Definitely a less risk averse approach, but you know how Dave can be.” Rose said. “It doesn’t make it hurt any less, though.”   
“He’ll tell you in his own time.” Dirk ran his hand through her hair. “Now leave me alone, I’m going to draw more shitty puppet porn.”   
“Gross.” Rose said, smiling. “Will you draw some well endowed ladies with some tentacles for me?”   
“Anything for your viewing pleasure.” Dirk said. He watched as she disappeared up the stairs, her dress trailing behind her. “Anything at all.”


	10. x

X.  
“Well?” John said eagerly. “Are you going to tell me how it went?”   
Dave sniffed, the air full of coloured dust and irritation. Terezi, an ever present fixture at John’s side, was currently wreaking havoc on the walls, drawing dragons and mangled corpses in Crayola chalk.   
“It went well.” He stole a long glance at John, watching his friends features form an easy smile. “I like him.”   
“Going for my sloppy seconds, huh?” Terezi cackled. “Karkat’s a real charmer.”   
“Just cause you guys made out like once at a party freshman year doesn’t make him sloppy seconds!” John protested. “And that’s a bad term and I don’t think you should use it.”   
“Sloppy seconds, sloppy seconds,” She drew a slice of pizza with cheese and oil dripping off the sides.   
“It’s whatever dude.” Dave said. “But it was nice. When I picked him up, he was wearing a red sweater his brother’s friend Porrim made him, you know the cool girl with all the tats?”  
“Better watch out, cool guy thinks she’s cool!” Terezi crowed, and John shushed her.   
“Whatever, he looked really cute, and so I stammered when I shook hands with his dad, and then as soon as he got in the car—“ Dave stopped. “You know how when you leave a freshass glass of AJ outside on a hot day, and when you pick it up, it’s slick as shit? That was my forehead. My palms were the fucking niagra falls, man, I was sweating enough to drown a fucking child. Those electrolytes evacuated my body quicker than Usain Bolt over the goddamned finish line.”  
“Poetic.” Terezi snorted. “And also get on with it you impetuous shit stain.”   
“Terezi, Jesus.” John said. “Look, this whole date thing clearly flustered him—“  
“I’m not flustered.”   
“Okay Dave. This clearly made him a little nervous, and as his number one best pal, I would really like to hear how it went.” John kissed her cheek. “Please?”   
“Whatever nerd boy.” Terezi licked the chalk dust off her hands, and started in on a new piece. The mural was a headache of contrasting colours and blocky shapes. Dave wasn’t quite sure why a blind girl liked to draw so much, but she sure as shit wasn’t very good at it.   
“Look, so we get out, we eat some food, we go to the park, we talked for like two hours. Did you know he likes Adam Sander movies? And fucking unironically too. Says he’s funny. Anyway, I drove him home, and when we got to his house, he leaned over the gearshift ad kissed me.” Here Dave blushed, and was grateful that Terezi couldn’t see the change in color of his face. “It was kind of incredible. The best part was, he didn’t even fucking bite me.”   
“Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.” Terezi said.   
“Hey dude, I’m really happy for you.” John said. “Karkat seems like a good guy. A little angry at time, and kinda loud, but I think he’s nicer than he lets on.”   
“Yeah.” Dave said.”I like him too.”   
#  
They sat together at lunch that day, John and Terezi, Rose and Kanaya, Dave and Karkat, and Sollux and Dirk. They couldn’t fit on a table on their own, so they instead made their way outside, the early April breeze washing over their shoulders. Although he would never say it aloud, Dave loved and appreciated his friends. He loved John’s simplistically optimistic disposition, Rose’s biting wit, and Kanaya’s pointed sarcasm. He even found himself drawn towards his brother and his only friend, Sollux, the Taiwanese brainiac who he couldn’t remember ever seeing without his computer in hand. He remembered in middle school, back when they’d all taken the bus, Sollux had whipped out his laptop, and pressed his wireless mouse to his thigh, and did whatever it was that he liked to do the entire ride home, pausing only to glance out the window occasionally to check for his stop.   
Despite Dirk’s attempt at remaining subtle, it was all too obvious to Dave that he was staring at him and Karkat. Dave’s sunglasses were reflective, so if he turned his head, and could point his eyes at his brother and no one was the wiser, but Dirk’s glasses (those stupid fucking triangles) were a lighter tint, and Dave could see the movement of his eyes beaneath the lenses.   
He did feel some guilt over the whole thing. HIs brother had been out of the closet for six years, and the closest he’d ever come to a fulfilling relationship was his weird one sided devotion to Jake English, a spectacular failure of teen romance on epic proportions. It didn’t help that Jake English was concievable the most stupid person he knew (why his brother had any feelings for him was really beyond Dave) but seeing his brother so hung up on a guy who didn’t seem to feel for him was probably a part of why Dave kept his latent bisexuality to himself. If this was what it was to be a queer guy in highschool did he realy want to rough it out?   
Karkat had changed things, however, and Dave knew that he never wanted to look back. Over the past few months, they’d talked more, their paths crossing in unexpected ways. It helped that Dave had decided that all of their groceries should be purchased from the corner store that his father owned, Vantas Convenience, which led to more than a few interactions of Karkat cussing him out while holding cans of beans, and Dave laughing as he bought a single Slim Jim and a gallon of apple juice.   
But to be here with him, sitting with their legs pressed together, surrounded by the people who knew him best was a thrill far greater than seeing Karkat’s annoyed face in the afternoons when he would stop by and strike up a conversation, watching Karkat blush and fumble for words as Dave rambled on and on about things that weren’t important, and that he forgot as soon as he left the store. This was what it was to be happy, Dave thought. Who knew it would take some round faced dork who wore oversized sweaters to make him realise how he really felt?   
“Oh, Rose, I’ve finished up the alterations on your dress, and you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve added the sash we talked about. Now all that’s left is my own dress.” Kanaya said, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen upon them. “Will you help me pick out the fabric?”   
“Can you make me a prom dress?” Terezi asked, mouth full of grape jelly and honey. “I’ll pay you for it and everything, but I have a vision!”   
“Uh, I guess.” Kanaya said. “But would you draw it? Or tell me? How exactly would I go about making a dress for you?”   
“Oh, it’s all about the colors.” Terezi said enigmatically. “Red and teal and yellow and lime green, I think. John’s wearing a boring old suit and a boring blue tie, so I decided I would need enough color for the both of us.”   
“You don’t even know what blue is.” Dirk said.   
“Fuck you, anime boy. I know perfectly well what blue is. It’s sweet and bright, and it tastes like powerade or a blue raspberry popsicle.” She licked her lips.   
“Terezi, you’re blind.” Dirk said. “You cannot, by fucking definition, see color.”   
“I don’t see color, stupid, I smell it! I can taste it, too. Come here!” She lunged forward and grabbed him by the collar, licking his shirt. “Mmm. Sunny D.”   
Dirk shoved her away, and looked horrified at his sopping wet shirt. “How the fuck did you know that it’s orange?”   
“I told you.” Terezi took another bite of her sandwich, and the jelly oozed between her fingers.   
“Okay, TZ, that’s enough.” Sollux had apparently looked up from his computer long enough to be disgusted by the hideous act Terezi had been performing. “Egbert, keep your woman in line.”   
“She’s not my woman. She’s independent.” John looked at Terezi. “But seriously, that was really fucking gross, an I think you should say sorry to Dirk.”   
“Nope, I’m good.” He stood up, and grabbed his bag. “I’m getting the fuck out of here.”   
Dave watched as his brother walked away. He could recognize the melancholy that tinged his steps, something that hadn’t been present only a week before.   
“Hey, shitstain, can you stop ogling him and pay some fucking attention?” Karkat punched his shoulder.   
“Dude, that’s my brother you creep!” Dave stuck his tongue out in disgust.   
“Dave, can you please shut the fuck up.” Kanaya said politely. “Anyway, Terezi, if you buy the fabric I’ll make you the dress, free of charge. I’ll just need you to swing by my house after school for measurements.”   
“Okay!” Terezi smiled broadly. “Did you hear that John?”   
“Yes, I heard that.” John turned to Dave, and made a face as if to say: What the fuck is she going on about? And Dave replied with: I dunno man.   
“You guys really make this shit more complicated than it needs to be.” Rose said. “Dave, you need to talk to Dirk when we get home.”   
“Fuck no.”   
“Dave.” John said, and Dave rolled his eyes.   
“Whatever.”


End file.
